Immediately Jesus reached out his hand and caught him. “You of little faith,” he said, “Why did you doubt?” –Matthew 14: 31
It is said that the phrase “Do not be afraid” can be read in the Bible 365 times. Just like how God reminds us not to be afraid every single day of our lives. But the question is: Can we do that? Can we pass a week without having a day of doubts? How about in this time of pandemic? Can’t we have this doubt after witnessing how much cases increased each day and how many people died because of the virus? Do we really have this strong faith after one of our family members became a victim of this deadly virus? How can we be calm if we are in a boat being buffeted by waves because of the strong wind?
I also once questioned God for what had happened to my mother 2 months before my college graduation day. She was diagnosed with Cervical Cancer and died in the very first month of the year 2018. She became a bedridden person during 2017’s Christmas vacation. It was not an easy path. I struggled a lot since it was also my practice teaching semester. I cried a lot and even wished that God will take me first rather than seeing my mother suffering each day and night. (I posted this story on my page’s twitter account, in case you want to know more about it.) To make the long story short, I was once like Peter who doubted God and trusted Him less when the biggest storm ranged into my life.
I know it is not only me who experienced the same way especially these times that we are in crisis. Jobless people, calamities and destructions anywhere, chaos and racism in some countries, fires anywhere, corrupt politicians; it seems that everything didn’t get better since the very first month of this year. Maybe some of us are asking if God is still with us as we suffered too much. But again, He never fails to remind us how He loves us even if we questioned Him for so many times. In the Gospel today, He is asking us who have this little faith, “WHY DID YOU DOUBT?”
So, why did we doubt brothers and sisters in Christ? A priest once told me during a confession, “We question God not because we don’t trust Him anymore but because we just want to express our sorrows and ask His help because the yokes we are carrying are too heavy.” Earlier today too, a priest emphasized on his homily that we could not express our doubts easily if we don’t love the person. Just like how we easily opened up our hurts to our true friends. It is because we love God, we directly tell Him how we felt bad and how we trust Him less in times of trouble. Do not be afraid, He said. He is looking to us just like how He looked on Peter and grabbed his hands when he was about to drown.
Life is so hard and scary. We don’t know what will happen next. We don’t know when we will get drowned by fears. But human as we are, it is normal to feel this way. Just do not hesitate to ask God to save you whenever you feel drowned by your problems. He is always with us and He will calm the storm for us. There are better days ahead and this pandemic too shall pass.
A blessed Sunday to everyone!
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